Your Cheating Heart Can Get You Killed

These past few weeks have been something else! One celebrity after another just dropping like flies. Now there’s nothing unusual about people dying—it happens every second, of every hour, of every day 365 days per year (366 during leap year) but the difference is except for close family and friends the average person’s passing does not make the news. We’ve lost David (doesn’t look like his Kung Fu fighting was effective). Ed (is he searching for a star in heaven?) Farrah (she was such a fighter). Billy Mays(who is going to sell us the new and improved OxyClean NOW?!). And of course EVERYBODY has heard about Michael Jackson (unless you’re deaf, dumb AND blind).

But who I really would like to talk about is the football player who was found murdered with 2 bullets to the head and 2 to the chest.

His name was Steve McNair. Anytime a life is taken is tragic. But to be taken while you’re doing something that you’re not surpposed to be doing, makes it doubly tragic. It is also my understanding that his alleged jumpoff—I mean girlfriend was also a victim AND the perpetrator and that makes me very sad. Sad. She was only 20. Thinking she had all of the answers. Thinking she had it like that. By all accounts he was a standup sort of guy. A mentor to his teammates. Always giving back to the community. Playing ball despite various injuries so that he wouldn’t let his team down. An all around good guy.

And he was MARRIED too. Married for almost 12 years. 4 children. A life cut short. Just gone. My heart goes out to the family he left behind. The shame. The humilation they have had to suffer through all due to the selfish actions of a man who wanted to have his cake and ice cream too AND eat it too.

Knowing this my heart also goes out to him. For what will never be. Despite and in spite of his humanness. Because he woke up dead. And it was too late to make things right. With his wife. His sons. And perhaps God. That chance had passed at the end of a barrel. WHAT A WASTE OF LIFE.

My heart also goes out to the misguided, confused and gullilbe young female that was found dead with him, because she probably realized (too late) that she was just a ‘fish on the hook’ and was in danger of being thrown back into the water of which she had no intentions of going back to.

Although this situation was EXTREME it highlights just how dangerous ‘cheating can be’. Cheating might be fun and thrilling because of the ‘forbidden fruit’ factor but most people know that the novelty soon wears off and it’s not so thrilling as your imagination leads you to believe. Mr. McNair probably realized too late that getting a little ‘freakum’ on the side was not working out.

Of course if you’re ALREADY MARRIED the only ‘freakum’ you need to be getting is from your spouse. All of that energy people expend on making themselves attractive for others—well you see where it can lead. It happens everyday. He was just more of a public figure.

Little Miss probably thought that she was big and bold enough to take him from his wife. She probably thought in her mind: “well if she was treating him right, I wouldn’t have her man’. I’m sure she was all puffed up as I’ve seen in other men and women who were messing around with someone elses spouses.

By the way—CHEATING does not apply in the same way to girlfriend and bofriend. How can you be cheating on someone that you’re not married to?

If your girlfriend OR boyfriend is cheating on you and you’re not even married, don’t think it’s going to stop all of a sudden when/if you get married. You had BETTER run for the hills. Cheating defines the ‘cheaters’ character more than anything.

The spouse could be the best thing this side of sliced bread and the CHEATER will still cheat—some will even blame their cheating on the spouse due to a chink in their own Moral Compass. Selfishness plays a key roll in this lapse in judgment. No one is thinking how their little dessert on the side is impacting the family. The wife. The children.

EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A DECISION. NOTHING JUST HAPPENS. The decisions that were made in both McNairs’ case and his ‘jumpoff’ has left behind two angry, hurt and devastated families. Please send up a prayer for them. Prayers are too late for the deceased. It’s the living who is in need.

For those of you who still like to ‘groove’ remember this—YOUR CHEATING HEART CAN GET YOU KILLED.

Is being backwards the new in?

Somebody correct me if I am wrong.  But if you meet someone that IS ALREADY married, do you have the right to get busy with them, get pregnant and then have the audacity to act like BIG BOSS LADY and act outraged when the child you’ve choosen to have from this jacked up union is not recognized by the WIFE?!

Or please correct me again if I’m wrong—BUT— should a person be classified as a BUZZARD or a VULTURE while waiting around for the wife to ‘kick the bucket’ so that she can have the man that was not her’s to begin with?

I’m asking these questions because the ‘female’ that John Edwards didn’t EVEN wear a condom with (Ugh!) is acting like SHE was the wronged woman. WHAT?!
She needs to have her beady eyes scratched out and stomped on. I like her nerve because she has nerve of a plenty. What’s her name, I mean Reille Hunter (she definetly has the right last name) was probably all sugar sweet to Mrs. Edwards and the family while she followed Mr. Man around with her stupid video camera, all the while lusting after him and licking her shameless chops.

Next thing you know—Viola! the ‘Hunter’ is pregnant AND outraged that Mrs. Edwards has the audicity not to die (How dare she!). Huh?! Oh no—Don’t think I’m letting Mr. ‘Can’t Keep His Zipper Up’ Edwards off the hook. After all it DID take these 2 to tangle, but when you take marriage vows before God and family it’s usually for the good times AND the bad times. Am I correct?

Most people don’t have any problem hanging on through the good times, it’s the bad times that have a lot of people heading for the hills. This is the time that you can really see what kind of character a person REALLY has. Turning to others for comfort and understanding when they should be turning to each other; Leaning on and really making an effort to work it out with each other; Drawing on their faith together is a precription for forging better and stronger bonds. Not whining to somebody else about how “she just doesn’t understand me”. I’m just not in love with her anymore” Although to John Edward’s credit he did seem to draw closer to his wife when they suffered through the loss of their eldest son. He seemed to be a stand up type of individual (At least as much as a Politician or Lawyer could be).

But than this ‘female’ came along, KNOWING good and darn well that he was a married man and she still decided (because everything starts with a decision) that she was going to sleep with him. And like the bird of prey she is she swooped in for the kill and GOT PREGNANT! WAS SHE CRAZY? No she was not married BUT HE WAS and he could not have had her if she wasn’t so willing. I hate it when people say <strong>”It just happened”</strong> as if they were walking down the street and tripped on a crack or something.

Getting pregnant by a ‘married man’ is butt backwards. Shoot—getting pregnant BEFORE you even get married is backwards. BACKWARDS. I don’t care if EVERYBODY is doing it. It’s still BACKWARDS!. I know. Once upon a time I was guilty of this wrong thinking. Wrong as 2 left shoes. About how a person didn’t need to be married to have a baby.

I have since seen the error of my ways. But one thing I’ve never, ever veered from—is messing around with a married man and expecting to get right results from WRONG behavior. That’s LUDICRIOUS!A baby deserves to have 2 participating and loving parents. That’s how God orginally set it up. There will always be a whole heap of people hollering about ‘how they are not ready to take that major step’ and get married BUT you can have a child?

NOW that there is definetly classified in my opinion (and that is what counts right now) as BACKWARDS. Yeah I said it.

Now Miss Hunter is acting like she is so OUTRAGED because she is being dissed and the only one I’m feeling sorry for is that precious child who didn’t ask to enter this world under these circumstances.

John Edwards needs to go on and submit to a blood test (because it is too late for him to run now; that baby looks just like him) and pay some child support. And next time ‘Hunter’ hunts somebody please make sure that the person is available to you body and soul and stop doing things BACKWARDS. I might understand this kind of behavior from a 20 something (maybe) but somebody that is pushing 50?! Come on now. Get it together. I came across these scriptures in the Bible from Proverbs 9:17-18:

“Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet [because they are forbidden]; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. (18) But he knows not that the shades of the dead are there [specters haunting the scene of past transgressions], and that her invited guests are [already sunk in the depths of Sheol (the lower world, Hades, the place of the dead). KJAMPV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT’S THIS LUMP IN MY THROAT?

I’ve  been walking around all week long with this tremendous lump in my throat as though I want to cry or something.  I’ve been helping an aunt of mine look for another place to live and I’ve learned a few lessons along the way I didn’t want to learn.  For instance, I’ve learned that as a Black American there are still more than a few people out there that dislike us so much, that it nearly borders on hate.  And in some cases outright HATE.  I’ve had to face the fact that yes—there is still DISCRIMINATION AND PREJUDICE going on in this cold and cruel world.  What has puzzled me all the more is this hate that is spewed at us from non whites.  Or honorary white people (as I like to call them). You’d think they would be more compassionate due to the discrimination that is heaped on them—but no  I hate to say this,  they are the worst. 

At the risk of sounding feeble and pandering some of my best friends are honorary white people.   I was born and raised in San Francisco so my friends always covered the spectrum.  I’ve always said, if roaches could talk they’d probably say something like this:    ”I DON’T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH  THEM NIGGERS!”. Everyone has the nerve to think that they are better than us.  It never ceases to amaze me how people who come from other countries might not be able to speak a lick of English, but I believe they go to seminars to learn how to say one word very clearly in English—NIGGER!  Not ‘HELLO’,  Not ‘GOODBYE’.  But ‘NIGGER’.  Than again, being hated is not all bad.  In my mind we must be something pretty special for everyone to hate on us so much.  Normally, I am not this sensitive.   But this past week has been one filled with sorrow for the way things might have been. While I’ve experienced discrimination in one form or another throughout my lifetime, I’ve always said ‘THAT’S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE.” because as I mentioned previously, I knew good and darn well that no one was better than me or me better than them, for that matter. 

I’ve always hated that saying about being “COLORBLIND”.  Well for your information God in Heaven is definitely not Colorblind.  All you have to do is look around and see the variety.  Variety is the Spice of life.  And if God wanted only white people, that’s all He would have created.  So in your face!  Anyway, my sensitivity could very well be due to the premature demise of Michael Jackson.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked upon learning of his exit out of this world.  I felt very Sad.  I watched every tibit of news about him that I could get (even though I pretty much knew a lot about him already) until I overloaded.  I played some of his ‘jams’ and walked down memory lane.  Remembering where or what I was doing when a particular song came out. 

Remembering how crazy I was when the ‘Jackson 5′ hit the scene.  How my room had posters on every inch of wall (I was particular about Jermaine really).  How my best friend had the nerve to TELL(?!) her parents that she was going to the ‘Jackson 5′ concert that was in town.  Not requesting could she go (you don’t tell a Black parent nothing!).  I felt sad that all of that talent was just gone.  DEATH is so final.  I HATE DEATH.    I thought about how he wouldn’t get a chance to redeem himself and how I wished I could have known him personally and prayed with him.  I was already praying  for him hoping that he knew God because God already knew him.  I was sad AND mad at this world at how sometimey it is.  I watched the world pour out their grief for a guy that was born a Black man but who somehow grew to hate himself and wanted to be something that God didn’t intend for him to be—A WHITE WOMAN.  I always did say that he was possessed by a white woman spirit that inhabited his body and was forcing him to make his physical body conform (my friends and family always laughed when I said this but I was/am dead serious). 

I marvelled at how some of these same people who would call a regular black person (like me)  the N -word in a New York minute without missing a beat and how they were loosing their minds over someone who was born (drum roll) a BLACK MAN!  The grief for some has gotten so bad that they’ve resorted to killing  themselves (12 at the last count).  And yet, the average Black man or woman will continue to have indignities visited upon them all because of the color of their skin by these very same brokenhearted people.  It’s ironic that all of this soul searching of mine has taken place on INDEPENDENCE DAY. That’s why I have a lump in my throat.

Is It Just Me Or Is…

everybody TOO touchy for words!?  We won’t be able to say or do anything in a minute  for fear of treading on someone’s  little ole’ ‘SELF ESTEEM’.  It’s just like I’m always telling my children—it’s tough all over  and the SOONER you realize that the easier it will be for you.  I also tell them, that you were not put in this world for everybody to like you and that you can never EVER please everyone all of the time.  So DON’T bother trying.  Period.  And another thing—DONOT base your self worth predicated on other peoples’ opinions of you.  That is a dangerous road to HELL  as far as I am concerned.

Now  I was raised with the notion of  ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, than keep your BIG MOUTH shut.  I mean Emily Post would be very proud of just how polite I can be.   It is not now nor ever has been my mission in life to go out of my way to offend people on purpose (except if you really need it, and you know some people need it). HOWEVER in my estimation a little straight talk will go a looooong way in making people face reality.   There are entirely too many people walking around ‘faking the funk ‘so to speak.  If their head is not up in the clouds it’s shoved up someone’s…well you get my drift. 

Remember that song from Mary Poppins’?:  A spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down!  I say a  BIG heaping spoonful of straight talk will do the same thing. I haven’t  the time or inclination to walk on eggshells every single time I have something to say because it will offend someones’ delicate little ears.  Are you kidding me?!  To me the most worn out phase is ‘SELF ESTEEM”.  Ugh! Don’t say this, you might hurt his ’self esteem’.  Don’t do that, you might hurt his ’self esteem’. WHAT THE?!%*.  I have a little tip for not focusing on your ‘SELF ESTEEM’ issues.  STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND FOCUS ON HOW YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE ELSE  FOR A CHANGE!  DO IT TODAY!  OKAY!